Adam Gontier

Things I Say Out Loud ( The Second Of Three )

"          Our flaws are not our downfall. They are just the path to insecurity, which is our downfall. We all worry about what we're doing wrong at some point in time. We're self-conscious of our quirks. It's taken me a long time to realize that our flaws are what make us all beautiful. I'm not saying that I don't think about them ever, because I do. I'm human. But I'm more accepting of them now more than I was a week ago, or a day ago for that matter. If you let them fill you up, you're gonna hate yourself. Trust me (persons name), I've been there. You're a beautiful person, inside and out. And never let anyone tell you otherwise"

"           There's no such thing as a person really being broken. It's a comparison. You can say you feel broken or incomplete, but what you're feeling is emotion. Now you have one of two options here. But both with endless possibilities. The first, is you can hold it all in. But that won't really help you much in the long run. In my experience, you end up letting it out in bursts. Everything builds up inside you to the point that your heart and thoughts are saturated with those feelings. So it spills out all at once.

              Now you have option two. Do something about it. With me, it's writing and music. But it can be anything! Just channel your emotions into it. Your whole heart, your fears, your strengths. To just let it out makes going through things, or being strong that much easier. If you need me, I'm here for you. Because I've been through almost the exact things you have. I wish I had someone to tell me I wasn't alone when I was in your position. So I'm telling you now, you aren't alone. You'll get through, because you're stong. I know you are."

"             Passion? Idk. I guess you can say it's when you have so much love from something, and it makes you so happy, that it's one of the monumental parts in your life. It's your cornerstone. You're life tends to lean towards making sure that passion stays in your life. Now passion can be helpful to you, or it can be harmful. It depends on the passion. If it's something that is hurting everyone around you, then I wouldn't call that helpful. And I wouldn't call drugs a passion, I'd call that addiction or obsession. But if it's a person, well that's just the greatest feeling in the world now isn't it :) "





Make A U-Turn

Radio Waves. Puncturing my brain.

Emitting more pain than the hearts of the dying.

Pounding. Throbbing. Crack my skull.

Let my thoughts bleed on the floor.

Cardiac arrest. Explode from my chest.

A final goodbye to my metronome.

This throat to tear at, this throat to burn.

First the right. Then the left.

Last and final. Never again.

Seal it up, forever.

Truth In The Past

Things I Say Out Loud ( The First Of About Three )

"How can I help myself, when I can't see myself... I feel like I'm looking into a broken mirror, and in each one theres a different reflection than the other. But I don't recognize any of the faces looking back."

 

"          The way I see it, all parts of life can be described as a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes, you get into a position where you think you've solved the puzzle. But for some reason, you feel like it's missing something. So you look until you see you've lost a piece. You crawl on your hands and knees looking for that one damn piece. Then about an hour later, you give up, and flop down on the couch. All hope lost. Then when you reach for the remote, you notice the piece just laying next to your foot. So you run over and put it in place, and the puzzle is complete. That's love.

 

            Friendship is different. Friendship is when you're first starting the puzzle. You start out with one little puzzle piece in your hand. So you look and you look, then you finally find a piece that goes with it. So you keep building and building this puzzle. And sometimes you mess up and put pieces in the wrong spot. But you fix it when you realize it doesn't belong there. Finally you complete the puzzle... Your web of friends. The closer the piece is to you, the closer they are to your heart.

 

            Sometimes pieces break, that's called death. Each piece of the puzzle represents (a) life. The process of assembling the puzzle, that's growing up. And looking at the masterpiece you've made by the end, well that's a life well lived."

 

"I choose truth over forgiveness and compassion over hope. Though they're linked together, aren't the same. Sometimes forgiveness can't follow truth because it's to dark to overlook. And though you can show compassion, sometimes the situation's hopeless."

 

"For him, I'd do anything. I'd pick each and every star out of the sky and bottle their light up. And do you know why? Because seeing the smile on his face means I'm doing something right. If he's happy, than I can sleep peacefully tonight. If he's in pain, I will do anything to make him feel better, if only for a few moments. Whatever it takes, I will be there for him. Love isn't about words. It's so much more than that. Love is when suddenly you're world revolves around the happiness of someone. No words or actions can fully explain the emotions in your brain. But what you do know, is that you never want to see them unhappy. So when I say that I'll be his one man army... I mean I'll tear down every mountain that intimidates him. Or any person in the way of his happiness."

 

 

Taking * T I M E *

So basically some shit is just getting to hard to handle. I need some time to sit alone and figure out whats wrong in my head. My nightmares all came back, and this cliff is just too steep. I don't want to risk falling of because this time I surely won't survive. I don't want my world to unlace, crumble and fall. Like it did time and time again, and it want to long ago. I need to figure out whats more important, and how all this should be handled. I don't know if i can make it on my own, but I guess I'll try. I'm not gonna say any goodbyes, I know it isn't coming to that. But I might disappear for a little, but I'll be back soon, with you again.