About Me

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I'm going to be blunt, though my words can be sharp. I'm not going to lie, or tell you my full truths. I'm not going to cry, but I sure as hell won't be ok.

3.02.2010

[Hide] ... But I Need To Know

I'm going to be honest. I often wonder what my purpose is here. Why is my life the way it is? What am I even doing here in the first place? Hours upon hours I'll be deep in thought. It scares me sometimes. The depth of my own mind. I over think things alot. But one thing that scares me the most is the answers I come up with. Sometimes, I find no answer at all. Other times, I bring my whole exsistance into a new perspective. On more than one occation, I've ended up asking people I hold close for the answers. I don't claim to be currently depressed, don't get me wrong. But I do tend to stray towards that fault line between normality, and unnatural on occation. Does it scare me? No... it haunts me. Does it affect me? Beyond what you believe capable. Life, for me, has to be the scariest balancing act ever preformed. The scales are uneven, on fire, greased, and has a tendancey to give nasty splinters. So given the circumstances, I've managed pretty well. But I'm still left wondering why I'm the target for gunfire. It's like I've been hazed my whole life... for what? And I've gone to hell and back looking for an answer, a reason, some possible explination to why I'm left in the dust. I'm walking on pins and neeldles against my own will. Oh god I just want to fly away and leave all this pressure behind. This burning in my soul that knows that there must be a reason. I know deep down, this isn't all some game. My story is writen somewhere, like a prophesy, just waiting for me to read it. There's an author for it who's hiding it from me, but why. My question is simple, I need a truth.
What is my purpose here?

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