r o o t

My mind has been spinning circles, making large tornados and cyclones. They've made a wreck of my brain. These hurricanes of questions and thoughts are catastrophic. They all have branched out from the root question... "Who am I?"

- Know - How Much...

How is it that one person can make you feel like sunlight? It's like they were crafted to know you inside and out. Is it normal that when I see you, my heart beats 1,000,000,000 miles a minute? When I'm in your arms, everything disapears but you and me. There's something about you that brings who I truly am on the inside. You have this way of knowing exactly what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. It's weird how you have this ability to break down these barriers I've built. Most of all, you have a gift for putting me at ease. It's almost as if you paralize my nerves, my senses. I'm not going to resent it. I just don't know how you do it. I wish you knew how much you affect me. I hope you know how much you've made me love you.

~Want~ But I'm Gone

I want to live the life I've hoped about.
I want to know the feeling of free-falling for miles.
I want to be weightless and float away.

I dream of falling in love forever.
I dream of running and never comming back.
I dream of creating a world all my own.

I'm done with letting you control me.
I'm done with watching you ruin my soul.
I'm done with listening to how you'll make me like you.

I will die if I'm like you.
I will always stand up to you.
I will never love you.

I hate you for all that you are.
I am leaving with all that I am.
I will show you you're wrong.

You make me sick.
You're dead to me now.
You've lost this war.

You leach
You poser
You killer
You liar
You sicko
You user

I know you're a savage
And I'm done with being hurt.
I'm leaving forever.

- Pass - I'm Never Fitting In

I'm not going to change. I'm not going to try to fit in to your infantile stereotypes. I could care less about what you label me as, because I don't believe in it. Call me scene, emo, punk, goth. You could call me a slut, but that'd be a lie. People aren't meant to be classified and seperated. What's the point? I am who I am. I'm not trying to fit your social patterns. Thanks anyways, but I'll stick to being myself. This is only highschool. In 20 years, who cares if you were the jock, the prep, the skater, or scene? We're all poeple, we bleed the same, we have the same needs, we all want to be loved for who we are.

So, as tempting as it sounds to fit in, I think I'll pass.

[Hide] ... But I Need To Know

I'm going to be honest. I often wonder what my purpose is here. Why is my life the way it is? What am I even doing here in the first place? Hours upon hours I'll be deep in thought. It scares me sometimes. The depth of my own mind. I over think things alot. But one thing that scares me the most is the answers I come up with. Sometimes, I find no answer at all. Other times, I bring my whole exsistance into a new perspective. On more than one occation, I've ended up asking people I hold close for the answers. I don't claim to be currently depressed, don't get me wrong. But I do tend to stray towards that fault line between normality, and unnatural on occation. Does it scare me? No... it haunts me. Does it affect me? Beyond what you believe capable. Life, for me, has to be the scariest balancing act ever preformed. The scales are uneven, on fire, greased, and has a tendancey to give nasty splinters. So given the circumstances, I've managed pretty well. But I'm still left wondering why I'm the target for gunfire. It's like I've been hazed my whole life... for what? And I've gone to hell and back looking for an answer, a reason, some possible explination to why I'm left in the dust. I'm walking on pins and neeldles against my own will. Oh god I just want to fly away and leave all this pressure behind. This burning in my soul that knows that there must be a reason. I know deep down, this isn't all some game. My story is writen somewhere, like a prophesy, just waiting for me to read it. There's an author for it who's hiding it from me, but why. My question is simple, I need a truth.

What is my purpose here?