The Things My [Mind] Is Singing

I'm sitting in a place that isn't there. I know I've fallen down. Back through the cracks where I started. My mind is empty but filled to the brim. Everything is layed out in front of me, and I don't know where to begin. Every lie, every tear, every word I spoke. I can't make sense of where I am. You can't find it on a map, you just stubble upon it. Like a lost item in the attic. But unlike the newly found item, this is something not worth finding. It's your every fear, every nightmare. It's all the pain you've felt and the times you've failed. I've been here before, and got out. But this time, there's new mountains. I don't understand what's brought me to this. I'm terrified, shaking, crying. I watch my hands as they tremble. My eyes pan up my arms, following the scars etched into them. Being reminded of my pain daily, is the toughest thing to do.