[ Fade ] Away, Don't Stop Me

I don't know where to begin. Every problem is pounding inside my skull. The pressure keeps building with every second that goes by. How do I control these monsters that take over? I can hardly keep my own mind in check. My heart beats 100 beats per second, though it's barely audible. With a heart so fragile and weak, I still let myself fall into dreamtime. These thoughts are floating in dangerous places. I know I should reach out, but I don't want to. I'm willing myself to go off on my own, but I know it's a deathwish. I miss the people who are long since out of my life. I can't figure out these jigsaw puzzles. Every second my addictions are pulling on my sanity. After all the times I gave in, with every cut and bruise. I want it back, but it's deadly. Pulling at my skin, I sit in silence. Waiting for the clairity that will never show. I see their faces, and it haunts me. Crying is my only relief tonight. Sleep has been out of reach, scared away. I don't want the nightmares to come back. I'm terrified and lost... with no way out.